The past 13 months of my life have been the least settled of my life. With Mom’s accident in September, Dad’s death in January then the consequent disrupted life of a couple of months here in the UK and a few weeks there in Canada, I feel completely unsettled. Add into the mix, the husband’s many weeks away this autumn and it’s the perfect setting for a melt-down.
Having established that I’m better at fighting fires (reactive) than making phone calls (proactive), I’ve decided to push myself into the unknown and make a plan. Now I make plans all the time – but I don’t actually do anything about them because that would require being proactive. This time, however, I’m going to give it a try.
Actually, the “plan” is simply to notice what’s up with my body and my hunger and my emotions. I need a shake-up if I’m ever going to break through this last wall so I’m going to attempt something different. Last night I dug out an old notebook and am simply pausing every half hour or so to comment on how I’m feeling and what I’m doing. It’s just a matter of recording what’s going on in my head and heart with the goal of naming rather than eating that particular thought or emotion.
I imagine that I won’t be able to keep this up for more than a few days but I’m going to try it and see where it leads.
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