I’m sailing on a calm pool this week. The perimenoapausal hormones and accumulated minor anxieties which combined to send me round the bend last week are at a standstill today and I feel like a completely different person.
This is how I know that I have finally made it past the half-way mark in life.
I certainly don’t feel older* and, in the right light, I frequently get mistaken for younger than I am. (Note of thanks to the “Because I’m worth it” people.)
But there’s a new rhythm of life that screams, “You’re middle aged baby - get used to it!”.
The tidal motion of hormones is something I’d better get used to. When I take the time to pay attention to what’s going on with my body and my emotions then I come through the storms pretty much unscathed. But those weeks when I’m already stressed by work and the husband does something which may be just a little annoying and the kids don’t phone – or they do phone and they NEED me – well, that’s when my “crazy head” runs all over the place screaming that the ship is going down – swim for your lives!
Instead, I need to stand still and think. Is this a real life crisis or a hormone wave? If it’s the latter, I need to make myself do the very opposite of what I feel like doing. I need to move. I need to eat well and drink water. I need to laugh.
Of course, I’m saying all this sane stuff while I am happily becalmed on a sunny day. I’ll let you know how it goes next time the big wave hits.
*I was going to say d’une certaine age but the linked article cast some doubt on whether or not I’m quite there – though the French definition is intriguing.