Below are my weights the past few mornings.
Since I had freaked myself out about needing an mri, I decided that I needed to know for sure that I wasn’t losing weight because I was ill but because I was eating less and moving more. I needed to prove that I did have an appetite and was not going to end up wasting away like my mother. So I ate. Maybe you can tell from the stats on which day I ate the most.
Wednesday-144.2
Thursday-145.6-after a day of pretty heavy eating. interesting.
Friday-145.6
Saturday-148 Really? In 24 hours? Interesting……
Sunday-144.4 After one normal healthy day – see why daily weighing works for me?
Mardee commented on my post about eating anything I wanted that she couldn’t do that “with impunity”. After looking up “with impunity” 
– without having to deal with the consequences – I have to agree with her. There are always going to be consequences for me when I decide to just go out and EAT – mindfully or mindlessly- and I did some of both.
Consequence 1: Weight
There is no doubt that unfettered eating means my weight goes up. But it doesn’t mean that I actually gained almost 4 pounds of fat in a couple of days. However, if I’d gone to WW on Saturday and had my one weekly weigh-in, I might have believed that I had actually gained all that weight. That’s why daily weighing works for me. It keeps me sane in a way that the weekly weigh-in cannot.
Consequence 2: Head Damage (can’t think what else to call it)
A couple of days of unfettered eating leads to a mindset that’s hard to reign in. In other words, once I’ve opened that loaf of bread, it’s hard to imagine preparing a pile of roast vegetables, lean meat and basmati rice. Once I’ve spread the butter on the bread, I know that nothing green, red or orange is bound to pass my lips for the rest of the day.
Consequence 3: Long Term Damage
This is something that has changed over this year. When I started eating in grief last January, I didn’t stop for well over a month by which time the weight gain and head damage were real. In previous years, it’s taken several months or more. Even this time, I was hoping to stop after a day but it took four. I know now how easy it is to fall back into a lazy carb-dominated diet.
Weird? Pathetic? Undisciplined? Why yes, thank you – all of the above. But that’s why I’m here and talking about this stuff.