Weekends

 Thoughts on the Process  No Responses »
Dec 052009
 
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During the week, things are easy – I can keep busy enough at work so that I don’t really think about food. But weekends – arrgghhh…. Right now, I’m watching a movie and cutting out fabric to make baby clothes, but all I think of is how hungry I am. And of course, I’m really not. Luckily, I don’t have much in the house to snack on, but I just really have this urge to eat. What’s up with that?

Maybe I just need to LEAVE the house – or jump on the treadmill. I guess if the current activity is moving me towards overeating, I need to change the activity, right? Of course, right!

 Posted by Mardee at 11:55 am

Getting a Grip – Laziness 2

 Thoughts on the Process  No Responses »
Dec 052009
 
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Once I fall into the Ditch of Little Effort I find it hard to get back to my more energetic life. The ditch is comfy and warm and…..well, fat-producing.

So I think I need a plan starting right now.

Porridge for breakfast – with yoghourt and blueberries – cooked on the stove and not the microwave.

Soup for lunch – there’s a butternut squash, onion and 2 potatoes in the cupboard under the sink just waiting for that destiny.

Dinner….turkey chilli I think – a batch should last a couple of days. Black beans, peppers and onions are already in the cupboard.

And some fruit. I’ll buy some oranges. Oranges are not good fruit for the lazy. Anyone living in the Ditch of Little Effort will not want to be bothered with the peeling palaver.

And I will walk today – as I’m not going to the city or waiting for the oven repairman, I’m going to walk along the seawall and maybe get a cup of tea at the local cafe.

So that’s a plan.
I can also:

  • go in search of Christmas decorations in the basement
  • clear out all the old baking supplies in my mom’s cupboards and replace with new
  • start the gingerbread house – but not buy the candy until ready to glue them on to the house
  • sort books and take them to the thrift shop
  • send the hundreds of begging letters back to their senders with a little note that the man they’re asking for money has been dead almost a year

I wish I could be more philosophical this morning and say wise things about losing weight and keeping it off, but, when I’m mired in laziness, the only way forward is a plan.  And it has to be in writing or it will dissipate in a sea of vague notions about what I ought to be doing.

Till tomorrow.  M.

 Posted by Millie at 7:11 am  Tagged with:

Results of the Eat Anything Experiment

 Food, Thoughts on the Process  2 Responses »
Dec 042009
 
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So for two days I ate what I wanted and, most tellingly, what required no preparation on my part.

EUREKA!   I think I’ve just discovered something!

I’m not so sure that I get into the habit of eating carbs because they have some powerful effect on my physical self.  I think I eat them because they are easy.  When I give myself permission to eat whatever and however I want, I choose lazy eating.  Bread is lazy.  Bread and butter is lazy.  Bread and butter for two meals a day is really really lazy.

Bread and butter with a couple of really nasty leftover chocolate thingies is beyond the pale of lazy.

According to my on-line journal, I have gone from eating twice the required amount of fruit and veg to virtually nothing.  I didn’t even eat the fruit garnish on my lunch plate at a restaurant yesterday.

So today it’s back to cooking porridge and making soup and preparing vegetables.  I’ll let you know how it goes.

 Posted by Millie at 9:10 am

Dare I say it?

 Thoughts on the Process  1 Response »
Dec 032009
 
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That things are going well? I’m (gasp) journaling again, and gradually increasing the exercise. Millie (as always), you provide abundant motivation and support for me (along with you other BCBrs), and I thank you so much for keeping me in the game.

Anyway, I’m doing the Millie thing of weighing myself every day with the idea that I will use it logically, and not emotionally. So far it’s working (of course, that’s easy to say when it’s heading down – the trick will be when the numbers aren’t where I want them to be).

Millie, I’ve been thinking about your “Obsession” topic, and it seems to me that it parallels what we’ve talked about before. We are all intelligent, successful women who have succeeded in our personal and professional lives, but have failed periodically at controlling our weight. Perhaps obsession is the key – after all, when we work, we apply ourselves wholeheartedly, don’t we? Maybe we need to apply that same wholeheartedness – nay, obsession – to our body…

Anyway, breakfast awaits (and a quick game of Spider Solitaire).

 Posted by Mardee at 12:41 pm

Mindful vs Mindless

 Thoughts on the Process  1 Response »
Dec 032009
 
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I’ve been following another blog that has some excellent insights.  It’s located here http://lynnsweigh.blogspot.com/
I’m not sure why but her discussion on mindful eating vs mindless eating reminded me of your (Millie’s) wandering through the grocery store eating this and that. 

I’m in a strange place these days.  I’m teetering between regaining and losing control.  I feel like I’m playing chicken with the scale.  Can I eat this and not show a gain?  What about this?  Oops, gained a bit this week, better back off.  It’s definitely not healthy and I’m trying to put a stop to it.  It makes me realize how very fast mindful eating can become mindless eating if you’re already in a state of denial.

 Posted by Donna at 10:44 am  Tagged with:

Discombobulation

 Thoughts on the Process  3 Responses »
Dec 032009
 
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Discombobulation is a technical term used by the Talking It Off community to define those times in life when things seem to be irretrievably tied up in knots.

After a few weeks of vague illness (an ulcer, perhaps, says my doc) and an inconclusive ultrasound and a booked mri and a flight across the world and a husband the same distance away from home but in the opposite direction, and a memory-impaired mother who has just realised that her husband is dead and……well, Christmas is coming, you know, and I am still the mother who must make it magic, the result is:  Discombobulation. (with a capital D)

And I ended up in that weird place where I worry that I’m losing weight, not because I have been working harder than ever to drop the pounds but because I’m dying.  The fact that I started having these fatal symptom AFTER the mention of the mri and not before makes my rational self want to slap my discombobulated self but I know if won’t do any good.

So instead, just for today, I decided to eat what I wanted – to wander round the grocery store and pick up anything I fancied and eat it in any quantity I chose.  It was kind of freeing and I found that I DID still have an appetite and that I could eat quite a lot when I really wanted to.  In fact, I ate enough at 2 pm that it’s 8 pm now and I’m still not hungry.

It wasn’t junk either – good bread and good pasta and good cheese.  I also bought all the ingredients for making soup for the weekend.  All good. And I feel a little less discombobulated.

I’m heading to the big city tomorrow so might try Blackberry blogging – or might just immerse myself in Christmas shopping.  We’ll see.

 Posted by Millie at 4:23 am  Tagged with:

The Weight List

 Things to try, Thoughts on the Process  No Responses »
Dec 012009
 
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For the past six weeks, I been weighing myself every morning and writing down the numbers.  I am not doing this expecting to see loss after loss after loss.  I’m doing it because I really want to get to grips with how the actually shedding of pounds works.

I think I’m going to make it a public exercise, not because it’s particularly interesting for, but because it’s another accountability tool for me during the next month of feasting and partying – a time when I would normally embrace the “What the hell” attitude of the season and pop in another piece of shortbread.

Just to be clear, the appropriate response to then numbers decreasing is not “Way to go Millie!” but:

  • “Hmmmmm, interesting”

And the appropriate response to numbers increasing is not “You can DO this Millie!” but:

  • Hmmmmm, interesting”

That’s the vibe of the activity.

December 09
Decided to make this a permanent page
4-145.6
3-145.6-after a day of pretty heavy eating. interesting.
2-144.2
1-144.4 Canadian scales
November 09
30-143
29-143
28-142.8
27-143.6
26-144.2
25-144.8
24-145.4
23-145.6
22-147
21-didn’t weigh after emotional eating
20-146.4
19-145.8
18-146.2
17-146.2
16-didn’t weigh
15-146.4
14-146.2
13-146.6
12-147
11-146.9
10-146.6
9-146.7
8-147.4
7-147.4
6-out of town
5-147
4-147.4
3-147.8
2-148.4
1-148
October 2009
31-147.6
30-149
29-150.2
28-150.4
27-149.8
26-150
25-150
24-150.2
23-151.2
22-didn’t weigh
21-151.6
20-151.2
19-150.4

 Posted by Millie at 4:54 pm  Tagged with: ,
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