Why does it take me so long to get to the point of actually going beyond good intentions to good practice?
Why does it take weeks to go from wanting to do the right thing to actually doing it?
That’s the same question but it baffles me so much that I wanted to ask it twice.
The word that keeps flashing in my brain is FREEDOM – a concept that comes up again and again for me in this battle to gain food/body sanity. When I get my thinking twisted around, I find myself looking for freedom in all the wrong places.
I can have the freedom to eat and drink whatever and whenever I want. This includes the freedom to sit around and do nothing whenever I want.
OR
I can have the freedom to feel comfortable in my own skin, the freedom to look good in clothes, the freedom to run up stairs and not collapse at the top.
So two sets of freedoms which each cost the other.
Each cost the other – I’d never thought of it like that before. I don’t expect to be able to smoke and have healthy lungs. I don’t expect to spend all my money and have it in the bank. Everything costs – good stuff and bad stuff in my life – it all costs something.
OK – So I what will food and body sanity cost me today? This week?
Today it will cost me being thoughtful while I’m shopping in the city. It will cost me the effort to say “small” and “skinny” when ordering a coffee. It will cost me reading some labels when I order lunch. It will cost me asking if we can eat somewhere with nutritional info – which costs me my delightful freedom of eating in my favourite Italian cafe.
OR I can eat in my favourite Italian cafe and commit to a long walk later this afternoon. Or it might cost me a short walk and water rather than a g&t before dinner and carrot sticks for a snack later on.
Freedom costs – but it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. I get that for now. I wonder how long it will be before I need to write about his again?
But in the meantime – I’m going shopping.
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