Do you ever scare yourself by looking at your face in the mirror too closely? It’s usually while I’m putting on makeup that I notice every crease and wrinkle. And let’s not even start a conversation about the horrors waiting in the magnified version – especially relating to stray hairs.
Anyway – the point is that, until you step away from the mirror and look at the whole picture, it’s very difficult to see what you actually look like.
A woman is much much more (and better) than the sum of her flaws.
Back in January 2008, when I weighed 170lbs, I set a goal weight in my head. After many years in this country I have to acknowledge that I still don’t know my 14 times table but I do know that 10 stone is 140 pounds. That was my goal in my 30s so I stuck a half stone on there for a realistic weight to head towards.
Two and a half years later I find myself really unhappy with my body as reflected in my weight. Why? Because I’m staring at the numbers and seeing the flaws rather than standing back and getting a realistic picture.
- one step
- two steps
- three steps (away from the numbers)
OK. Here’s the new perspective.
My original goal weight was 147 lbs. This morning I weight 147.2 lbs. I’m still there, so congratulate and celebrate!
Yes, I’m flabby around the middle. And that would be because I haven’t been walking and running and weight training. My choice; my consequence.
Do I want to weigh less than I do now? Yes
Am I going to do what it takes to get there? Hmmmmmm. Well, why not?
But I want to do this from a positive rather than a negative place. I’m absolutely fine and healthy the way I am but I’m interested to know what I look like with that last half stone off. I’m interested to know whether or not I can maintain that weight with my present trans-continental life.
If I get down to 140lbs then find that I just can’t stay there, would someone PLEASE remind me that 147 is just fine? That I can enjoy life and food and still maintain this weight? That I can walk and run at this weight? That I can still find clothes at this weight? That I’m not BIG at this weight?
OK – now I’ve got the perspective I need to do this last bit of hard work. And it will be hard work. The husband wants to come along for the ride and take off a few pounds too. So, as soon as I get back from a couple of days away working, I’m going to start this last leg in earnest and look foward to seeing what summer looks and feels like a little bit lighter.