As I was trotting along today, I had a bit of a wonder about which is the stronger influence in my life.
I am very greatful that I was brought up with the expectation that girls should be sporty. Because of that, I know what it feels like to be fit and I know how good it feels to stress your lungs and heart and legs.
But I was also a fat child. I know what it feels like to eat 3 peanut butter sandwiches watching tv after school out of stress and boredom and then still eat dinner when everyone else gets home.
From about the age of eight there was constant battle in my life between fatness and fitness.
And now I read that, because I’ve always got back to running in some way or another since I was a teenager, my muscles just remember what it’s like to run and keep running. My heart and lungs may be deconditioned and my legs may feel weak but there’s a “just rightness” about putting one foot in front of the other over a distance. So my muscle memory means that I’ll never feel like a complete novice at running even if my times and distances fall into that category.
But I also read that my fat cell population was decided in adolescence and will never change no matter how much weight I lose or how much exercise I do. So, basically, there IS a fat woman inside of me trying to get out. I can shrink my fat cells but I can’t decrease their numbers so the potential for obesity is always with me.
My conclusion? It’s more important to me than ever to get the head and heart part of this battle on the side of the muscle memory. That’s the only way to overcome that propensity for fat established during my daily peanut butter and Bonanza appointments.
I’ll keep talking as long as I need to.
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