Donna

I’m trying something new

 Things to try  2 Responses »
Nov 012009
 
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I’m starting a journal today.  I’m going to try to write something every day and I’m going to try to make note of my feelings.  An honest note of my feelings.  That’s why I’m going to keep my journal to myself, if I post it out somewhere then there will be too much temptation to edit it for other people.

When I was posting on the Fab 40s Remedial site this summer, I was logging my food faithfully and staying on program.  I’ve had to face the fact that maybe all those people who talk about journalling their feelings might be onto something.  I’ve always kind of dismissed that, not for others but for myself.  I didn’t think I was an emotional eater.  Well, maybe I was just fooling myself.  I guess I’ll find out.  However, I think it will be good for me, even if it doesn’t help with controlling my food intake.

 Posted by Donna at 8:43 pm  Tagged with: ,

I’m Feeling Better This Week

 Thoughts on the Process  3 Responses »
Oct 202009
 
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It’s really quite amazing the difference a few days make.  Last week I was on such an emotional roller coaster and my eating reflected it.  Rick commented several times that I seemed very down.  At the time I just thought it was because I was upset about not having any real downtime during my vacation, plus a hangover from the previous weekend with all the company and the work that goes with it, plus still being unsettled due to the renovations in the house. However, now that I’ve had time to consider I wonder if I was also dealing with a menopausal hormone swing.  You see, I can usually deal with all of the above much better than I did.  It’s really not unusual for me to be busy during my vacation and the things I was busy with would normally not cause me to go into a funk.  I loved having my in-laws visit so a full house at Thanksgiving wasn’t a hardship.  What was wrong was my reaction to it all. Mood swings are not normal for me at all, so I have to think that maybe this one had help.

Well, whatever the cause it seems to have passed.  I’m back to exercising and tracking my food and have stopped stuffing my face with whatever happens to cross my path.  I must say that I prefer being on an even keel, I don’t enjoy the drama, even when it’s my own.

 Posted by Donna at 9:51 pm  Tagged with: ,

Just who is it I am fighting with?

 Thoughts on the Process  1 Response »
Oct 172009
 
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I’ve been wondering what the heck is wrong with me this week.  I’ve been supposedly on vacation but rather than enjoying some ‘me’ time I’ve been busy every day.  That’s fine except that I’ve been very grumpy and resentful about it.  The grumpier and more resentful I became, the more I ate. The more I ate, the busier I got.  I finally had to ask myself who or what I was so resentful of.  Just who was it who was expecting me to do everything?  Certainly not Rick (my husband) and there isn’t anyone else in the house.  I had to face the fact that it was myself that I resented.

I’m sure all of us have heard those people who claim that overweight people are lazy and have no willpower. All they need to do is stop eating and exercise. What’s so hard about that? I know this seems like I’m changing the subject, but bear with me.  Have you ever secretly agreed with them in some part of your mind?  I mean, why can’t I stick to my plan?  Why am I choosing to eat stuff I shouldn’t, eat more than I should, not exercise enough?  Am I just lazy, lacking willpower?  Am I trying to prove otherwise when I go from one task to another?  Look at me, look how busy I am. If I do this and this and this, then how could anyone claim I’m lazy?  But no one is claiming I’m lazy except me.

Why is this so hard? All I have to do is stop eating stuff I shouldn’t and exercise more.  Right?

 Posted by Donna at 11:24 pm  Tagged with: ,

Enough already

 Starting Again Again  No Responses »
Oct 162009
 
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I’ve been on a crash and burn pity party this week.  Losing control of my schedule and routine has led me to throw my hands up in the air and relinquish control of my eating.  The scale this morning has slapped me back to reality.  Some people say that while their life may be hectic at least they have control over what goes in their mouth. Unfortunately, I’m the opposite.  When I lose control over my routine, I usually lose control over my eating as well. At least I have learned to rein it in before it goes too far.  Today I vow to think before I put something in my mouth and to get my usual amount of water in.

 Posted by Donna at 7:00 pm  Tagged with:

If I was smart…

 Thoughts on the Process  2 Responses »
Oct 132009
 
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If I was smart, I’d go into my fridge right now and purge a lot of the leftovers from Thanksgiving.  I’d keep the turkey, that’s good for sandwiches and soup and I can freeze some for future casseroles.  However, the stuffing should be thrown out for sure, plus the leftover dessert that my daughter in law so thoughtfully left with us.  I don’t really need the extra homemade soda bread, even though it tastes so good toasted. So why don’t I?  Throw it down the garbage disposal and dispose of it somewhere other than in my stomach.

Easy enough question, it should be an easy enough action.  But,,,,, that famous word of prevaricators (is that a word?) I have such a hard time throwing out ‘perfectly good food’.  After all, ‘there are starving people in Africa’.  It’s not good to ‘waste food’.  Can you hear my mother talking? I can.  So what that I’m almost 52 and that times have changed.  So what that my eating it won’t help those starving people one little whit. It still pains me to throw it away.  I suspect that this is a problem mostly for people who grew up, or had parents who grew up, in the depression era or in families where money was scarce.

I really need to get over it.

 Posted by Donna at 6:31 pm  Tagged with:

Tidy house ~Tidy eating pattern?

 Thoughts on the Process  3 Responses »
Oct 072009
 
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Millie, I need to circle back to your post on tidy house>tidy mind>tidy eating pattern.  I’ve really been thinking about this a lot recently.  My house has been in a real mess lately as we’ve been having tile and hardwood installed.  I’m more than a little surprised at the impact it has made to my eating patterns.  I am not dealing with the mess at all well.  I sometimes joke about being a little OCD but maybe it’s not really a joke.  It’s been very stressful having everything out of place and messy.  I’ve never been a clean freak, but I don’t do well with disorganization and I’m really not happy about things being out of place.  It’s leading to me not journaling my food intake (where’s my pen and notepad that I keep on the counter) and not measuring my quantities (dang, the scale is under a pile of dishes sitting on the kitchen counter) and not getting in my exercise (the mini tramp is in the basement behind a bunch of furniture) and being very stressed about the entire thing.  Am I really that structured? Yeah, I guess I am.  I just never really thought of it that way when I was busy putting clean dishes at the bottom of the stack so that the dishes all got used about the same amount (plus the glasses, the tupperware, underwear, socks etc).

Where am I going with this? Well, I guess that I need to face this aspect of myself and prepare for it.  Just because the house is disorganized doesn’t mean that I have to be.  I can dig out my scale, my journal is on my pc, the treadmill is still upstairs and accessible.  If I can keep these things on track, maybe it will help me deal with the rest of the mess.

 Posted by Donna at 4:58 pm  Tagged with:
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