When I got home from work yesterday, I felt immediately drawn to the TV, which I have temporarily given up during my work week. I wandered into the living room, paused by the couch, and then walked away. Easy choice. I said “No TV during the work week for at least one week.” And I was successful the first night, never turned it on. No gray areas. Easy enough, even for a TV addict who is accustomed to watching endless reruns of Bones, Criminal Minds, and NCIS, besides new episodes of my many other favorites.
When I walked away from the black and white (no pun intended) of the TV decision, I headed into the gray area of the kitchen (which is decorated in black and white–gotta love my landlord’s choice of color!). You can quit drugs, alcohol, gambling, watching TV, and a host of other things, without ever having to do them again. Just to clarify, I am NOT saying it’s easy–I’ve watched people struggle with drugs and alcohol, and I wouldn’t want to go there myself. But you can QUIT. You can walk away and never have to negotiate bargains with that particular demon. Not the same with food. I have to negotiate that rocky road (no pun intended, again!) several times a day. I fell into deep crevices three times yesterday, and was unsuccessful in negotiating my way out without giving in. Sometimes I wonder if hooking myself up to an IV of just the right balance of nutritional stuff twice a day would make it easier. It would take away the “gray-ness” of food negotiations. But it would also remove any enjoyment of food. Might that be a good thing?
Upshot? If I want to keep enjoying food, I will have to learn to negotiate it better. Balance. A little of this today. A small portion of that on the weekend. I’ve never thought of myself as a “foodie” when it comes to the whole experience of food. My tastes are pretty simple, out of necessity. But while the food is simple, the enjoyment of it is so much more complex–the color/taste/smell/texture/atmosphere surrounding food. And I’d miss that.
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