Talking It Off

I can be intense for only so long and then I need to step back for a bit, but “stepping back” is NOT the same as falling off wagons or “being bad” or gaining weight.

Stepping back is just that – eating mindfully for a week without weighing & measuring food or self. Therefore, when I stepped on the scale this morning, it wasn’t to see “damage” but to see what happens when I don’t pay attention to the minute detail of amounts eaten and exercised. C’est tout. (that’s all – it’s French and sounds rather educated, don’t you think?)

And what was the effect of 7 days of just being me? About a pound up. That makes me happy. And relieved? Yes – I do admit to a bit of relief.

So, it’s back to dieting like an accountant tomorrow with two very low calorie days.

And what’s my goal? I’ve decided that vanity wins over health at this point. Yes, my waist should be smaller for health but, even more urgently, there’s one very cute blue linen dress in my wardrobe just waiting to be fitted over a more shapely me.

I am jet-lagged so coherant thought may be just a little lacking but I’ve got some things swimming around in my brain that need expressing.

I am all for healthy eating over dieting. But what if you eat healthily and still put on weight? Then, the only solution is to pay attention to your balance of calories consumed versus calories expended and that, without any waffling, is dieting.

In our house we eat a very balanced and healthy diet. In fact, we were once chosen to do one of those “what the average British family eats” studies and were told that they’d never encountered a family that ate so much healthy and fresh food.

But we can eat a lot of it  – especially now that there are two of us at home rather than four.

So – to lose weight, I need to temporarily put myself into a calorie deficit situation. In other words, I need to diet to lose weight – but the diet is just a pared down version of our normal healthy way of eating.

At this point my problem is boredom.  Most things that I claim to hate, like ironing, running and doing my taxes, I just hate the thought of. Once I’m into the thick of the activity I always find that I enjoy it despite my initial feelings. Dieting is the opposite. I love the idea of being in control and seeing results on the scale. Once I start however, I hate the whole boring thing.

I hate the amount of mental energy it takes to lose weight.

I hate the fussing over social engagements.

I hate saying, or even thinking, “I can’t eat that”.

But I know there is no magic solution. The goal of fitting back into my spring wardrobe can only be acheived with a certain amount of sacrifice. My next step then is to find a way to do this hard work with the minimum of resentment and the maximum of joy.

• First step: good tools.  If I’m going to have to write down everything I’m eating, it better be easy and enjoyable. Nutracheck still offers the best online journal I can find and I’m happy to pay the less that 20 pence per day to use it! 20 pence. I also need good kitchen scales and good ingredients.

• Second step: no gimmicks. That means food from all the food groups and nothing between me and my calories. That includes Points TM. I just need to be able to think about what I’m eating and how much, how I’m moving and for how long. I know now that I cannot survive on a low carb diet so I won’t try. I also know that I can’t live without healthy oils. I can, however, temporarily do without alcohol and certainly without sugar and refined carbs.

• Third step: rhythm of life. How do I incorporate eating less and moving more into my life without it taking over my life? I don’t mind hard work but I refuse to be obsessional. I’m tentatively hopeful that this Intermittent Low Calorie plan will help me with that. I can work very hard for 2 days per week, moderately hard for 3 days per week, then chill out a bit for the remaining 2 days before starting all over again. The average eaten over a week should lead to a pound or so lost but the mental anguish should be fairly minimal.

Now on with Day 2.