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Last week I lost a couple of pounds and this week I seem to have put them back on – despite eating and exercising to plan.

So what am I going to do?

I’m going to keep pushing through until something happens.

I’m going to keep running and walking and journalling and being positive that my health is being improved even if the scale isn’t doing anything positive.

I’ve said it before but I certainly need to remind myself that this isn’t really the “last 10 pounds”.  Mentally, I’m at the end of something but, physically, my body could lose another 25 pounds and still be healthy.   So I just need to keep doing this – and do my best to ignore my projected weight loss figures for March. That kind of counting unhatched chickens only leads to discouragement.

I’m keeping this positive mindset because I’ve been reading up on the subject of visceral fat – the fat that sits inside your body and around your organs.  Here’s what I’ve learned:

  • There’s no doubt that I have an “at risk” shape. Even though I have a healthy BMI, I should lose another inch or two off my waist to be really healthy in the body fat department.
  • Exercise will work on this kind of fat – even in the absence of weight loss – so I will keep moving whether the scales move down or not.

If you want to read more, look at these Obesity Panacea posts:

  • This one talks about how exercise reduces visceral fat even if it doesn’t have a large effect on weight.
  • This one talks more in depth about the relationship between exercise and weight loss.

 

 
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Last 10 Pounds ~ Daily Report

It’s good to see Paul Plakas back answering questions on his site.   The last question in December got me thinking.

Paul is answering a woman who wants to lose 20 pounds in three months.  His response:

My answer to you would be yes it is possible to lose 20lbs in 3 months. The question is are you willing to do everything to get there?

Let me repeat that last bit for my own benefit.

Are you willing to do everything to get there?

So many times I’ve started down the dieting path with a goal in mind but no clear idea of whether or not I’m prepared to pay the price to get there. Commercial programmes do all they can to make it appear as though there is no cost. (See every Weight Watchers ad ever created.)

The saner I’ve got about food and body, the more I tend to think about what I’m willing to commit to the process rather than where I want to be.  It’s no use at all saying that I want to weigh 125 pounds and have 20% body fat when I have no intention of putting in the work to get there.

So what am I willing to commit?

  • I’m happy to give up junky processed food including fat free and artificially sweetened.
  • I’m happy to go for a run at least 3 or maybe 4 times per week.
  • I’m happy to park in the furthest parking space and generally increase my daily movement as much as possible.
  • I’m happy to learn to eat small portions and enjoy feeding my physical hunger rather than my emotions.
  • I’m happy to blog through the issues.

What am I NOT willing to commit?

  • I won’t be giving up wine any time soon.
  • I won’t be terribly assertive while eating out or at friends’ houses.
  • I won’t let being a certain size or weight define who I am.

What have committed to in my head but not got around to implementing?

  • I know that I need to work more on my whole body by adding functional training.
  • I would like to stick to 14 units of alcohol per week.

After weighing less than 150 pounds for over a year, I now want to weigh less than 140 pounds.

Am I willing to do what it takes?

Today?  Yes.  Tomorrow? We’ll see.

 
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Yesterday I ended up with a digestive complaint that doesn’t need to be described here. Ick. I haven’t had anything like that for years.  So I stayed in, ate sparingly, and went to bed early.

And what do you know, I feel fine today.

It was tempting to spend a little more time curled up on the couch but I decided to try to be as disciplined about exercise as I have been with food.  Not easy.  Not natural. Not ever accomplished before!  But I’m trying.

Here’s the plan:

Every week I aim to walk/run 1 x 2 miles, 1 x 3 miles, 1 x 4 miles and 1 x 5 miles.  I don’t care about the order or the specific day but I’d like to get to the end of each week having covered 14 miles at a good pace.

Walks with friends and loved ones are just icing on the cake but not replacements for the above.

Can I just recap for a moment?

In just over 2 weeks:

  • I’ve decided what number I want to see on the scale.
  • I’ve set a date for that goal.
  • I’ve planned my weekly eating.
  • I’ve set a weekly exercise target.

This is not me.  This is not anyone I have ever been.  I promise that I will never ever ever become smug in this endeavour.  Or assume that I’ve actually arrived.  Or assume that I will be this disciplined forever and always.  Or be confident that I will never be fat again.  Never ever ever.

But I’m going to take advantage of this stranger presently living my life and see if I can’t embed a couple more good habits.

 
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I don’t have a lot of time but wanted to report back on my fitness assessment.

I went with my lovely daughter who feels pretty much recovered from several years of chronic fatigue syndrome but hasn’t been able to exercise in all that time.  Because she’s been worried about putting on weight and not eating right, I thought momentarily about signing her up for Weight Watchers – but really only momentarily.  I thought about all the money I’d paid into the WW coffers over the years and about how much better it would have been if I’d spent that money getting in shape and learning about nutrition.  So that’s my 21st birthday present to her – 3 months of weekly visits to a personal trainer.

We met with our lovely new trainer, Svetlana, to go through the Polar BodyAge fitness test.

I was pleasantly surprised by how chilled out and unselfconscious we were about our less than perfect bodies.  I got the feeling that Svetlana mostly meets women who hate their flaws and aren’t happy even with the good bits.  I think she was a little surprised by how matter of fact we are about our own and each other’s bodies.  It seems that years of watching Trinny and Susannah together have made us very blunt about such things – in a loving and (we think) funny way – but it must seem a bit strange to an outsider.

So here’s how it panned out for me:

Nutrition was good though I was describing my normal diet at home with the husband rather than what I’ve actually been doing to myself for the past week. (yes, “doing to myself” is the best description I can find.)

Cardiovascular, strength and flexibility were all fair or average – so no surprise there and a pleasant change from “poor” when I did an assessment eight years ago.

The big surprise was my body composition which, using skinfold measurements, was only 23.5% fat.   I guess  my skinny limbs balanced out my fat tummy because the belly definitely needs shrinking but there are no bingo wings in sight.

And the final pleasant surprise is that my body-age is two years less than my real age.  I turn 49 next week but my body is only 47.  And, apparently, my goal for the next few months is to get it down another 12 years.  (oh, really?)  So I will be 35 by summer.

The daughter had good news too: she’s officially a beautiful young woman who just needs to do a bit more exercise, tone up her gorgeous curves and eat breakfast – not nearly as de-conditioned as we thought she might be.

I have a session next week to plan out my exercise routine for the coming months and I’m looking forward to it more than I thought I would.

 
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This afternoon I went for a run rather than blog because:

  • the sun peaked through the clouds
  • I had journalled to point that I realised there was nothing left for a glass of wine
  • I actually felt like exercise. (Please don’t get excited – this doesn’t happen very often)
  • Or the right planets aligned.

Because I did a long (for me) 4.5 miles yesterday, I decided that a quick 2 miles would be enough today.  I trotted off out the front door with 2 goals for this particular jaunt:

  • To do the 12 minute fitness test.  I only just figured out yesterday that my ipod has a stopwatch so I thought I’d give it a go.  I managed (according to gmaps pedometer) to cover 1.84 km (1840 metres) in 12 minutes which puts me at the top end of “average” for my age.  I’m happy with that.  If I can cover just another 60 meters, I’ll be at the bottom of “above average”.  That’s a reasonable  short-term goal, I think.
  • To run as far as I felt I could – then keep running to the next lamppost or other suitable landmark. It hurt but I did it whether I’d been running for 5 minutes or 1 minute.  One day, I’d like to run for a whole 30 minutes without needing to walk but for now I just want to learn how to push myself when I’m working out.  I’m a wimpy exerciser and find it hard to go that bit further or faster at the gym but somehow it was easier when there was something physical to aim for.

I used to be too self-conscious to run on my own outside but I’ve discovered a wonderful secret.  Ready?…….wearing a baseball cap.  Because no one will recognise me wearing a baseball cap, right?

Don’t answer that.  It’s helping so I’m going to keep doing it. Sunglasses make it even better. Plug in the ipod and it’s like a full-on cloak of invisibility.    :)

 
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I love a good workout.

I can happily sit on the sofa for a week.

These are two truths that make it complicated to be me.  Or maybe everyone is like this.

I have always been sporty with or without extra weight.  I suppose that innate enjoyment of exercise is why I’ve never had more than thirty pounds to lose.  The amount of exercise I’ve maintained has ranged from almost nothing to obsessive levels.

  • wandering around the house in search of food or the tv remote
  • walking for everyday life – errands and shopping
  • playing orgainsed team sports
  • walking for fitness
  • walk/jogging
  • going to the gym once or twice per week
  • going to the gym four or five times per week
  • running miles and miles in order to burn calories

Can you sense the shift from depressed to sane to compulsive? I have a genuine fear of both extremes.

I read this quote today over on the Paul Plakas site:

Melissa Joulwan once wrote: “An athlete is someone who takes joy in movement. Who knows they feel better after their workout than they did before. They enjoy the first trickle of sweat because they know that the reward for stretching won’t be too far behind. It’s also someone that knows you don’t have to be on an organized sports team to be strong, to have enthusiasm, or to be a winner.”
There is absolutely no mention in the previous quote of a top-10 finish or a personal-record time achieved. No relevance to personal performance relative to others.

I relate to that and I love that little bit at the end.  It helps me crave moving my body without fearing the euphoria that always leads to a crash.  I want to find moderation and that sheer pleasure of feeling my heart and lungs working hard.  I don’t want the kind of exercise that traps me into a routine that gets ever more demanding, just to keep getting better and better results. Instead, I want “balanced life” exercise that leads to the freedom of having a healthy and leaner body.

So today is another “first day”.  Better get moving.

 
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I wish I had a dollar for every time I started over. I’d be retired and sitting in a beautiful cottage somewhere, with tons of friends, and lots of fun things to do, and no money worries. But I’m also willing to guess that I’d still be struggling with food, starting over, failing, starting over again, and between lots of failures would be the occasional success. What is it about that occasional success that is missing the rest of the time? If I could answer that question, I’d reach permanent success at reaching and maintaining my weight, food, and fitness goals.

In the meantime, I will do the things that I have done before: NOT quit. Start over. Make a plan for eating and working out. Fake the excitement and motivation if I’m not feelin’ it. One minor change: Fitness activities will start slow as my ribs heal and the (what did Sal call it? a hematoma?) the other thing heals. I’ll walk on the treadmill, probably 2.5 – 3.0 mph, see how that goes. And I’ll work out the food after getting some ideas from the zillions of books I have floating around the house that all have to do with healthy eating, weight loss, fitness, aging, and all the other stuff that goes with that. And the first item of business will be to weigh in tomorrow morning. Might as well start with the ugly truth.

So there you have it. Another time around the game board, and on the square marked “start.”

 
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I definitely feel like I’m back in boot camp – a newbie struggling to sort it all out and maintain a rather rigid schedule. I made a few commitments to myself this week, and I’m going to make an HONEST effort to keep them.

1) Exercise (with a capital “E”) – that was the key to my success before, and that is that ONLY way I will maintain and get more weight off. I have to face it – I can’t do it by diet alone. It has NEVER worked for me in the past.

Exercise is my friend.

2) Journaling. I have come to the conclusion that journaling and weighing/measuring are there for one purpose – and that is to serve as a “stop-gap” for the brain. I crave = I eat vs. I crave = I journal/weigh/measure (think!) = I don’t eat/I eat sensibly.

3) Sleep/relax. When work gets to much, I owe it to myself to take a time out and relax. And no matter how much work I have, it is NEVER productive for me to sleep less than 7-8 hours (preferably 8).

4) Keep up with my hobbies. A happy person is a healthy person. When I am so caught up with work and stress that I neglect the fun little things like sewing, reading and gardening, then I lose the ability to stay happy and focused. Instead, I begin drifting and become aimless. That’s not good for me and not good for my body.

Okay, that’s enough deep thoughts for the day – how’s everyone doing out there?

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