Today is moving day at my office. My department is moving about 40 miles away, which means a commute where there didn’t used to be one. There are both positive and negative aspects to this. Negative is the time and cost of the commute. We’re talking 90 minutes to 2 hours a day, depending on traffic, and $150-$200 a month, depending on mileage. Positive is a new work atmosphere and spending time with co-workers I previously only got to see at occasional staff meetings,  working in the “big city” (Milwaukee) where there are more opportunities for just about everything, and shaking things up a bit. It’s the “shaking things up” part that I’ve been thinking about this morning. The powers-that-be are treating us to pizza today for lunch. Not the kind of pizza that is worth getting sick over (lactose intolerance), or getting fat(ter) over, but crappy, bring-on-the-Imodium, I-think-I’m-gonna-be-sick, chain restaurant (think “hut”…) pizza. I’m not having that. I figure my first day at my new office is a good time to go public as being a non-pizza/non-dessert kind of girl. Then co-workers will be accustomed to the fact that I have different needs when it comes to food–not weight loss needs (people don’t take those seriously), but health needs. That will make it easier to do this. 

 This means being strong today. If I cave, and eat crappy, makes-me-sick pizza, my health issues will take a back seat to my ability to be swayed when others want someone to “play” with. “Come on, PLEASE go for pizza with me? Pleeeaaassseee?” No. Pizza doesn’t agree with me, even if I take Lactaid. No. Ice cream isn’t worth how awful I’ll feel later. I’m lactoce intolerant. No. I choose to stay away from sweets because I am pre-diabetic. I choose health. I choose to be fit and healthy and vital. I choose to be active and engaged in life, rather than fat and sick.

I wonder if balancing my health needs with being social and friendly will be a challenge? I don’t think it will be too bad. Many of the people at my new office are younger than I am–parents of elementary school or middle school kids. They seem to be healthy, vital, gym-going kinds of people. They will understand. Those that I can picture as trying to persuade me to join them in the “eat-fest” behavior are people I can see being potential binge buddies. I REALLY don’t need to encourage close friendships with people like that. I don’t have any binge buddies right now (except one of my daughters, but that’s a whole other post), and that’s a good thing. I don’t need any!

I continue to work on my attitude. Today’s post is part of that work. It’s not only my feelings about food and exercise that are directing my behavior, but also feelings about the commute I’ll be undertaking. I am feeling resentful that someone other than myself can make a decision that impacts my circumstances in ways that will have a large negative impact on my life (money, time). I am sad because it will cost me so much to keep my job, especially after I have taken on a fairly expensive hobby (motorcycling). I am not willing to give up that hobby, so I will have to work hard to fit it in around the reduced resources. It is important enough to me to make this work. It is also important to be perceived as the kind of employee who is willing to go the extra mile at work. That will (or should) result in increased income. That will help me maintain my hobby more easily. (And after a suitable period of intense practice riding said hobby, I can use it as transportation to work!)

Lots of work to be done here. I’m up to the challenge. I’m strong, smart, capable, and willing to work hard to accomplish ALL my goals, despite the increased challenge in getting to work, and in educating my co-workers in how I need to take care of myself.

I unintentionally started an attitude adjustment thread on BCB, and thought I’d share it here too. I’m struggling with having to adjust my budget to include an 80 mile round trip commute daily, that doesn’t fit into my current budget. I’m also struggling with all the previous issues: food, spending, lack of exercise. And when I toss in the enforced commute and the extra expense and time (estimate: $150-200 a month, 90 minutes to 2 hours a day), I get a seriously bad attitude about the whole thing. I’m struggling with this attitude, because I can’t change what’s happened, and I’m not willing to give up a job I like, even though it’s becoming a problem for me financially. So here’s my BCB post, edited to make sense in a different forum: 

Gotta spend some time with the budget (or lack thereof) to see how to fit everything in. The more I think about it, the more I’m inclined to cut the cable TV, and maybe look around for cheaper internet as well. We’ll see. It’s hard to think of not having all the stuff I’m used to watching, but that’s what it’s come down to.  I guess I’ll just have to learn how to be a grown up.  Can’t help but be pissed off that other people can make decisions that make me have to think about things like this.

Unfortunately, every time I start thinking about the whole situation, I get all riled up. That’s not good, and I’m not sure how to change direction. I try to adjust my attitude, but it always comes back around to “WTF???” And that affects all my other behaviors–shopping, eating, and the eternal desire to plop on my couch and spend the winter there without moving. Better knock that off!!!

Ok, attitude adjustment exercise:

• I have 2 GREAT daughters, 24 & 27, and I’m proud to say I’m their mom.
• I have a family I love, even in the face of all our dysfunction.
• My family will celebrate the holidays with all the joy and cheer that makes it a very special time for all.
• I have a good relationship with my ex, which is good for my daughters.
• I have a job. Many people don’t.
• I LIKE my job, at least most of the time.
• I have off from said job from Christmas to New Years Day. 
• I have the physical ability to exercise.
• I have the mental ability to make better choices.
• I have the brains to make all this work FOR me.
• I have motivation to be strong, healthy, and fiscally fit, so that when spring gets here, I can fire up my Harley, modify it any way I want, and ride like the wind. (A slow wind, of course…)
• I have awesome friends and a great support system! Shout out to all my BCB buddies, and Millie, Donna & Mardee at the blog! (IPB too, you know who you are!)
• I am strong enough, and smart enough, and tough enough, to do this and to do it well. I can get my eating, my spending, my level of physical activity, and my attitude, all under control and headed in the right direction.

Ok, now that I’ve given myself a pep talk, I can start my day with a smile on my face, and the desire to change my circumstances.