There’s still lots of discussion around how much people are loving or hating ProPoints.  I was very critical of people who complained at first – and then I became one of them!

As with all WW plans, ProPoints (Points Plus) is a great way to start re-ordering your food life if you have a very unhealthy diet.  If you eat lots of fast food and snack on chocolate, cookies and crisps, then run, don’t walk to your nearest Weight Watchers meeting.

However – if you already have a balanced and healthy diet with loads of fruit and veg, then I’m not sure ProPoints is going to work very well.

Lots of people LOVE the fact that Weight Watchers has got serious of the high protein, low carb idea.  Frankly, I just think it’s disrespectful to the poor people of this world and to the environment.

I think what I hate most about the high protein/low carb thing is that it’s about eating loads and losing weight.  My goal is to learn to eat less of all sorts of things.   I want to have a plate of rice and beans and not eat again until morning, knowing that I’ve given myself plenty of calories and nutrients.  Likewise, I want to eat a tiny portion of the best chocolate I can afford and be satisfied.  Basically, I want to get as far away as possible from the “I’m a volume eater” mentality.

I understand eating to feel full.  I understand binge eating. I understand the self-loathing that accompanies it. Eating to sooth my emotions is the “last frontier” in my journey to food/body sanity.  Therefore, I don’t want a weight loss programme that says “Eat lots and never feel hungry”.  I WANT to feel hunger.  I WANT to know that I can satisfy that hunger with a little bit of nutrition packed food.

Don’t know where all that came from.  I was going to write about the fact that, being middle aged, I can’t see the nutritional information that WW demands unless I have my reading glasses.  I can see the fat and calorie info written on the front of packaging – but not the protein, carbs and fibre written in tiny print on the back.  One more reason for me not to bother with ProPoints.

And finally – with all their billions of dollars in world wide revenue, Weight Watchers should plough something back into updating their online tools.  They should offer “Week at a Glance” views of what how many points you’ve eaten and earned.

They should track your alcohol consumption in units.  Nutracheck keeps a running total through the week and shows it as a percent of recommended weekly limits.

The same for recommended amounts of fruit and veg.

Since they’ve got all that nutritional information built into the concept of a “point” – they could certainly show us what percentage of our diet is carb, protein and fat.  You’d think.

So there you go – my last words on Weight Watchers Pro Points.

I’d love to hear from people who are enjoying the new plan.

Well. Six days in I’ve decided to ditch Propoints and go back to Nutracheck.

Why? Well – let’s get started.

• Temperament Induced Incompatibility

Does ProPoints work?  Of course it works.  If you follow it, it assures that you eat little enough to lose weight.  I signed up because I wanted to shake up my routine a bit and get back into a weight loss mindset.  Did that work?  No – because I’ll never be comfortable with anyone who says, “Trust me,  I’m a doctor.”

Eh?  What does that have to do with anything?  Weight Watchers just says, “Trust us – we’re the experts.”  Trust that a Point is a Point and you don’t have to know any more about it.  But I DO have to know more about it.  I have to know lots and lots and lots about it. ProPoints ™ is just a layer of non-information that I don’t appreciate.

And Activity Points are even more cloaked in mystery. I’ve never met anyone who has been confident that they’re recording the correct number of points for activity.  Mostly it doesn’t matter – they lose weight anyway – but I need a little transparency.

The result of this temperamental need for information was that I found myself, all week, running my food and activity through both Nutracheck and Calories per Hour to see how ProPoints stacked up.  It took only a couple of days to realise the idiocy of that exercise, so I cancelled.

Should this make other people not use Weight Watchers?  Of course not.  After almost 50 years on this earth, I know that not everyone shares my curiosity issue.

Tomorrow: Clunky Calculations

They are lovely skinny little chipolatas – the third one down in this photo of sausage loveliness.

Three of them cost 7 propoints.  Four cost 9 and five cost 11.

Guess how many I ate?

Last 10 Pounds ~ Daily Report

It’s good to see Paul Plakas back answering questions on his site.   The last question in December got me thinking.

Paul is answering a woman who wants to lose 20 pounds in three months.  His response:

My answer to you would be yes it is possible to lose 20lbs in 3 months. The question is are you willing to do everything to get there?

Let me repeat that last bit for my own benefit.

Are you willing to do everything to get there?

So many times I’ve started down the dieting path with a goal in mind but no clear idea of whether or not I’m prepared to pay the price to get there. Commercial programmes do all they can to make it appear as though there is no cost. (See every Weight Watchers ad ever created.)

The saner I’ve got about food and body, the more I tend to think about what I’m willing to commit to the process rather than where I want to be.  It’s no use at all saying that I want to weigh 125 pounds and have 20% body fat when I have no intention of putting in the work to get there.

So what am I willing to commit?

• I’m happy to give up junky processed food including fat free and artificially sweetened.

• I’m happy to go for a run at least 3 or maybe 4 times per week.

• I’m happy to park in the furthest parking space and generally increase my daily movement as much as possible.

• I’m happy to learn to eat small portions and enjoy feeding my physical hunger rather than my emotions.

• I’m happy to blog through the issues.

What am I NOT willing to commit?

• I won’t be giving up wine any time soon.

• I won’t be terribly assertive while eating out or at friends’ houses.

• I won’t let being a certain size or weight define who I am.

What have committed to in my head but not got around to implementing?

• I know that I need to work more on my whole body by adding functional training.

• I would like to stick to 14 units of alcohol per week.

After weighing less than 150 pounds for over a year, I now want to weigh less than 140 pounds.

Am I willing to do what it takes?

Today?  Yes.  Tomorrow? We’ll see.

Last 10 Pounds ~ Daily Report

A couple of days ago,  I caught sight of myself in a full length mirror in a pub loo.  That’s different than seeing yourself in a changing room mirror or your bedroom mirror.  It’s somehow more “you”.

I look ok. I’m not fat.  But I saw a woman who was not quite where she wanted to be.

Then I heard the word, “wedding”.

Then I started to think about quick fixes and ended up researching the Dukan diet. I found this guy and read every single one of his posts about his weight loss journey – a whole evening of reading.  He lost a lot of weight quickly then he lost a lot more weight over the next 6 months. But reading day after day of chicken, beef, lettuce, beef, salmon, luncheon meat, etc etc etc cured me of all desire to go “no carb” even if it works quickly.  I don’t know if he managed to keep off the weight as there have been no recent updates – but the photo on his avatar shows a rather larger person than the “after” photo that he posted.

I knew I needed to do something slower and with more variety.  So I went back to Nutracheck which has worked so well for me.   But it was too familiar – like running the same 5 mile route and knowing exactly how you’re going to feel when you get to the mailbox by the park.

So I needed something that wasn’t too strange or too familiar.  (This is sounding like Goldilocks and the Three Bears for Dieters).  I needed something that was going to make me think differently but also give me flexibility.  DARN! Weight Watchers with its new and as-yet-untried-by-me plan. (That one week doesn’t count.)

Sigh.  It really did make me sigh out loud.  But I signed up for 3 months online and now I’m putting my head down and getting on with it – complete with blogging away my feelings and frustrations.

So is Weight Watchers “just right”?  Is there going to be a happy ending?  I don’t know.  I haven’t really worked at losing weight for ages and my weight has stayed quite stable.  It’s nice to be doing this because I want to and not because I hate my body or don’t have anything to wear.  I’m doing this because I need to shake things up a little – and I especially need to do something just for me without pressure from the outside world.

A little insight already -  and before breakfast.   Game on.

It’s been a rather bleak start to 2011.  I think the very stressful previous year caught up with me and knocked me silly for a while.  After a lovely family Christmas, I dipped momentarily into proper depression and have since been – not exactly depressed – more like sitting in a mud filled ditch wondering when someone was going to come pull me out.

Yesterday I decided to at least try to get out myself.  Fed-up-ness is different than depression.  I may not be able to control every aspect of my life but I can certainly make some positive changes to help how I respond to the general ick of life.

So.  I’ve decided to use this blog as a tool again.  That’s all it’s ever really been – a weight loss tool – and I need to take it out, dust it off, and use it to get to where I want to be.

I also signed up for Weight Watchers online.  I wasn’t even drunk when I did it.  I can’t quite believe I did it. I don’t want to follow it. But – and here’s the clincher: I’ve heard the words JUNE WEDDING and those are words one does not ignore.  So I’m going to lose these last ten pounds.

I could pretend it’s for my health.  Of course it will improve my health.  My knees will certainly thank me when I run.  My cholesterol will probably thank me too.  (note: get that checked.)

But I’m doing this for vanity.

I want to be the grey haired fifty year old who looks great in her stunning summer frock.  (Yes – I said frock – it’s a wedding!)

In the meantime – this is also a good chance for people to read about how the PointsPlus – ProPoints plan works for the jaded and cynical experienced weight watcher.

Well I overcame my cynicsm and headed off to Weight Watchers this morning.

Life is currently more stressful than it’s been in a long time and I’m in serious need of distraction.  I feel healthy enough in body and mind to do this out of curiosity rather than believing that I’m on the verge of “the answer”.

What a glorious feeling!  I can mess about with the new plan as an experiment because it has no power whatsoever to make me feel either a success or a failure.  It might suit me and it might not.

I may not yet have talked off all the weight but I have talked off a good portion of the crazies!

I have to admit that I also wanted to give a bit of information to my North American friends who have to wait a while longer before they get ProPoints.  (I’m sure I should be adding a little tm thingy every time I type that….)

So here’s the lowdown:

• You get given your Daily ProPoints Allowance by your leader at the scale. No more little quizzes that can be shared freely on the internet. However, a friend with a ProPoints Calculator can give you the information. Since I have a “no more money to Weight Watchers” policy, I’m afraid I can’t help.  Your Daily ProPoints Allowance can be as little as 29 and as much as 71.  I’m thinking that WW has adjusted to account for the increasingly obese.  Your daily points cannot be carried over to the next day.

• Everyone gets a Weekly ProPoints Allowance of 49.  This is a much bigger deal here in the UK than it will be in North America because we have been working on a daily points only.  So I’ve gone from 126 points per week (18×7) to 252 points per week.  (29×7+49)

• Given that little bit of information, you might have guessed that absolutely everything has a higher points value than it used to.  However, there’s a new formula for calculating points so it’s not just a straightforward increase. UK points used to be based on calories and saturated fat.  American points were based on calories, fat and fibre. Now, points are based on a combination of protein, carb, fat and fibre because each of these building blocks of food has a different calorific value.  You should see the little wheelie thing required for this calculation!  Most people at the meeting were getting ready to part with £7.95 for a calculator but, given my above policy, I’m going to do the Luddite version for a week and see how it goes.

• The upshot is that 300 calories worth of food will have different points values.  Their example is a poached egg, grilled mushroom and tomato, 2 slices of back bacon and a piece of toast for 8 points but an English muffin with jam is 9 points because it has less protein.

• The big ProPoints news is that all fruit, fresh or frozen, including bananas is now zero points.  Vegetables, except the usual starchy suspects, are still zero points.

• I’ve now been playing with the wheelie thing and it has at least one very serious shortcoming.  According to it, half a bottle of dry white wine has 2 points and half a bottle of red wine has only 1 point thanks to a bit of protein content.  According to the ProPoints Pocket Guide, either of these has 9 points.  OOPS!

I’m off to London for the day tomorrow but will report back on Thursday about how it’s all going.

Thanks to the weighing every day exercise, I’m now unmoved by the little ups and downs – but a lack of progress these past few weeks has really started to get to me. So I decided to look back at my most successful times of weight loss and do what I did then to get the same results.

What started as a straight-forward quest for information turned into a chance to stand back and see the big picture of these last couple of years.

Jan 2008 – Jul 2010:  The Show So Far

Jan 2nd 2008 – Weigh in heavier than any non-pregnant weight.  170 lbs

Jan, Feb, Mar – work really hard and lose 12ish pounds for a family wedding. (That’s from memory as I only kept my starting weight) 158ish lbs

Apr, May, Jun, Jul – Ditch gym, stop journalling (ie stop trying) and gain back all but 5 pounds. 165 lbs

On July 21st I step on the scale and something changes in me.   I weigh 165 lbs and am fed up, but I’m then galvanised by something Mardee writes over at BCB.

Aug & half of Sep – I lose 9 pounds by working hard and writing about working hard. It’s the first time I can see real change in my attitude towards the process of losing weight.  I’ve looked back at my NutraCheck journals and I was eating 1600 calories a day and counting things like cleaning and shopping as “exercise” – but I lost steadily over those 6 weeks.  Interesting and not sure what to do with that information.  156 lbs

Mid-Sep, Oct, Nov - I rush home to Canada to be with my dad because my mom is taken ill.  I lose a further 6lbs by simply being too busy and anxious and sad.  I’m also never alone in the house, so don’t engage in the usual bingeing behaviour brought on by that sort of stress.  I continue to lose a couple of pounds in November (148 lbs) once it’s decided that I need gynae surgery which leads to…….. 

Dec, Jan 2009 – Yes it’s Christmas and the kids are home and it’s festive – but I’ve also decided that I’ve lost weight so easily these past 5 months because I’m actually dying of cancer.  I start to eat to prove to myself that I can gain weight.  And guess what?  I do!  Up 5 lbs between Christmas celebrations, health insanity and then recuperation time. 153 lbs And then….

Feb - At the end of Jan, just when I’m starting to feel like myself again, my dad dies.  I fly home, go see a brain injured mom every day and sit alone in his empty house for a month – and eat my grief for both of them.  Walking saves me from anything worse than a 3 pound gain but that’s 8 over all and I go home feeling like I’m starting again – only this time I’m sad as well as determined. 156 lbs

Mar, Apr, May, Jun – Go back to Weight Watchers and lose 5 lbs in 4 months.  But I’m at the gym a lot so my body is changing and I’m not frustrated by the slow weight loss.  The net loss for 12 months is 21 pounds.  149 lbs And what a ride.

Jul, Aug, Sep, Oct – Back to Canada for the summer then return to the UK and Weight Watchers.  I’m playing with the same pound or two.  I’m no longer writing, not excited about the old Bootcamp board and in need of a change.  I know that WW isn’t really the answer for me even though I love the people. I am faffing around and going nowhere – so I decide to start this blog.  150 lbs And then…..

Nov – I lose 7 pounds in a month and look great.  I’ve also got chronic stomach issues and am once again flung back into the medical system.  Looking for gall stones, they find “something” on my liver.  Here we go again with the, “It’s been way too easy to lose weight, I’d better eat to make sure I’m not dying” thinking. 143 lbs And guess what?

Dec, Jan 2010 - It’s Christmas!  And I’m eating to prove I’m not dying and I gain weight.  This is not a pattern I expected to see.  It’s very interesting that the two times I’ve been down towards the weight I want to be, I haven’t been well so I bounce away from it as fast as I can. 147 lbs

Feb, Mar & half of April – I sort of try but am pretty caught up in either seeing doctors or worrying about seeing doctors.  I really do lose my mind when my health is out of wack. Lose 3 pounds  – mostly in a couple of weeks where I paid attention. 144 lbs

Apr, May - I’m worried about the fact that I lost weight while feasting over Easter so yet another episode of “eat to prove I’m not dying”.  Then back to Canada to sit alone in a house, not grieving this time but worrying about the thing on my liver. I have this mindset that, if something’s seriously wrong, then why bother with worrying about eating and exercise? I gain 5 pounds in the process. 149 lbs

May - There’s an awful lot of thinking about the weight loss process but not an awful lot of  DOING. I’m tempted to call “failure!” but the fact is that I still didn’t gain significant weight.  And this time, just seeing a couple of pounds up made me recommit to doing something for myself – to getting what I want rather than sitting around talking about what I want.  148 lbs

Jun, Jul  (ie now) I decide to go for what I want and what I want is to weigh in the 130′s – anywhere in the 130′s will do.  I also decide that, if I end up really sick, I want my body to be in the best shape it can be. (I’m still waiting on the official plan of action re: the liver) I’ve been running and feeling stronger and breathing better.  I know that I can get results with the weight loss if I don’t let my social life get in the way. Today I weigh 145 lbs.

And that’s the show so far.  Two and a half years from seeing that 170 on my scales.  Two years from deciding to write about the process of stopping the weight loss/weight gain pendulum.

Have I stopped the pendulum?  Not completely, but the swings are much much smaller than they were two years ago.

• I know that a 25 pound weight loss doesn’t happen on a straight road. Life means curves, switchbacks, deadends and hellish hairpin bends.
• I no longer do “all or nothing”.
• I no longer think in terms of on and off wagons.
• I know (boy do I know) that life just gets in the way sometimes.
• I know that it’s possible to keep going anyway.
• I know that sometimes weight will apparently fall off me – usually when I’m stressed.
• I know that exercise helps me stay emotionally balanced.
• I know that I can do this.

I have every intention of being where I want to be when the calendar ticks over to 2011. God willing. Health willing.

Am I the least bit embarrassed that it could take 3 years to lose 30 lbs?

No! Just incredibly grateful for the chance to sort out issues which have affected my life since childhood. And, when I say “sort out”, that doesn’t mean I have illusions of perfection. It means I know it’s possible to be sane and balanced and content with my body and my eating.

“Peace not perfection”  is the slow weight loss motto.

Yesterday I wrote:

I’m going to Weight Watchers this morning – for the community as much as anything else. I don’t know what their scale will say and I’ve stopped taking the card for them to write my weight on, so it really doesn’t matter. I’ve always dreamt of a scale-free WW meeting and I’ve kind of got it.

So I trotted down to the meeting and stood on the scale.

147 (with clothes, post coffee – that’s just fine)

I was yammering away as I stepped off and thought the weigher hadn’t seen the number.  So I stepped back on.

146.5

Interesting.  Do you see why I don’t really care what the WW scales say?

When I took my seat with some friends, they had both put on half a pound. Or had they?  Maybe we should go back to weighing in whole pounds of balance scales? I wonder if those who weigh in kilos and half kilos are less prone to this craziness.   I wish I had the answer to scale insanity.  I think they should have a WW topic about The Big Picture.  It’s really about what happens over a month – or a season – or a year that counts.

When you’re 10 lbs lighter than you were 2 months ago, that’s weight loss.

When you’re .5 lighter than you were last week, maybe it’s a loss and maybe it isn’t.

Here’s the big issue.  We get so emotionally wrapped up in what that scale says that we let it rule the following week.  I’m pretty sure the women who had small gains are too sane to let half a pound influence their eating.  But then people used to think I was sane too – but I really really wasn’t.  Half a pound on could lead to another pound on which would inevitably lead to quitting WW and putting on 20 pounds.

So I’m going to keep up the daily weighing.  I knew it could take away the power of my home scale but I am absolutely over the moon that it has snuffed out the power of the WW scale too.